Will

Will was special. He was stylish. He was boyish.

He was witty. He was funny. He was generous.

SLB didn't fancy Will. He was more like a brother to SLB. Will was SLB's GBF, or Gay Best Friend. Anyone can have a GBF; you don't have to be male to have one and you certainly don't have to be gay to have one. But they are special. In short, SLB would do anything for Will. He would throw it all in and move to Africa for Will. Or Swindon. God forbid.

SLB and his GBF, Will, both aspired to be premiere gays. Someone like Elton and David for example. Or Christopher Biggins. A premiere gay, or 'A-Gay' if you will, had disposable income that they kept in their Vivienne Westwood wallets and spent on New Zealand Savignon Blanc at the Soho Hotel. A premiere gay drove a limited series Peugot 303 that they parked in the garage of their open plan Chelsea apartment. Premiere gays only ever dined with A-list celebrities with whom they only ever had brunch with, or, on occasion, a light supper at The Ivy before taking in some theatre and a boat cruise. But most importantly, a premiere gay did not sleep around. Well, surely some things can be worked on throughout the year. SLB did fancy having a new year's resolution for a change. Apparently they're all the rage at this time of year.

One of the roles of a GBF was to pick up the pieces of your best friend's life and re-arrange them in some state of repair. At alarming frequency. Will was there to console SLB in his early years of sluttiness when he misguidedly tried to end a date by “hugging it out”. When SLB was in floods of tears after having his first 'accident' in the bedroom with a boy, Will was over at SLB's flat with Iceland mini quiches and a chocolate gateaux faster than you could say “I kissed a girl and I liked it”. And yes, Will was on the receiving end of many a phone call at 3 in the morning when SLB was seeking advice on the whole Kaleb with a K debacle. No, not even three months in South America could dampen SLB's friendship with Will.

SLB had been back in the country all of three seconds when he found himself in bed with Jacob. Self-confessed metrosexual and long-time intrigue of SLB's. What was wrong with these metrosexuals? The sooner they replaced metro with homo, the sooner we could all get on with the important task of having sex with each other. SLB had been trying to yank Jacob out of the closet for years now, but Jacob was adamant he wasn't going to play. On this occasion, SLB and Jacob were merely sat in bed talking about science. And well, Jacob still couldn't decide if he was gay, straight, bi or Thai. So, not even the rabid gay porn on the computer screen in front of them could perk Jacob up, so they both finished themselves off, had a tea and parted ways.

Anyway, SLB needed a slightly stiffer drink and a de-brief after the whole experience so thank Liza that SLB had Will back in his life to solve all his problems. He'd done it before and he'd do it again.

Afterall, where there was a Will, there was a way.