Co-incidence Central

After all these years, you would think SLB would learn not to sleep around. That burning sensation, those morning after sheets, the needy text messages that inevitably ensue are enough to put one off for life, and yet somehow, the thrill of the chase and potential for satisfaction manage to lure SLB back into a life of debauchery and mischief. When will he learn? He was pondering precisely this over a cringy morning after brunch with Fergus from the night before, when suddenly he felt someone's gaze on him. A vision in black skinny jeans and fur-collared Armani shirt stropped over to him. With a coy smile and in chocolatey tones, he began to speak. SLB felt his mood lift. Perhaps this one was different. The vision ever so meekly enquired as to whether SLB knew of a Mitzi Vabere so he could get in touch with her. Turns out, the vision (devastatingly straight) had once dated Mitzi for a spell and remembered seeing SLB with her at Jaeger's 125th anniversary book launch the other month. Co-incidence number one.

It should be noted here that Mitzi Vabere, part-time actress/full-time glamour-puss, is SLB's newest Bender Friender now that Zoey had moved to Australia. It should also go on the record that it was the very same Mitzi Vabere who was instrumental in helping SLB court Joe with a Flute earlier this year after it transpired that she was a mutual friend of theirs. Not that SLB needed much help courting these days, but credit where it's due and all that. It was also Mitzi who advised Joe as to exactly where he could put his flute once he'd finally moved out from SLB's last week.

The co-incidences didn't end there though. That night, Mitzi and SLB were out at the Soho Hotel, reluctantly imbibing the most acidic South African chardonnay they had ever tasted (life was too short for bad wine) when SLB clapped eyes on Fergus from last night as he was working the room. He was about to sally forth with a mouthful of idle banter when he unwittingly bumped into Ryan from the other week. Worse still, the two knew each other! Well, SLB was all a fluster from being confronted with not one but two previous frissons and as it was close to 3 in the morning anyway, promptly edited himself from the situation in order to forgo anymore irreparable social damage. Mitzi on one arm and, keen for a second innings, Fergus on the other. Wonders never cease.

Of course, no night would be complete without the dreadful night bus experience. Projectile vomit free of charge. And of course, being the kind of night it was, SLB boarded the same bus as Joe with a Flute. Boy in tow. Great. SLB, with a disgruntled smile and a spurious flick of his hair merely acknowledged him as he minced past, then returned to Mitzi and Fergus, secretly satisfied that he had also been seen with another man. Beige though he was by comparison.

The perils of sleeping around.