Mahiki of Mayfair

Gays. Remnants of Renaissance Men. Educated, well-spoken, fashionable individuals who were interested in classical music and knitted ski wear. Gays were like children: quick to detach, but just as quick to warm to someone new. Gays were hilarious. They always had a gay 'air' about them so you could spot them a mile away. They even minced when they ate.

SLB noticed this while out to dinner at London's closest imitation of a New York cabaret bar – Pizza on the Park at Hyde Park Corner. He was dining with Boring Caleb. Formerly Curly-haired Caleb, Caleb's boringness far outweighed his curly-hairedness, so his epithet had to be changed. Boring Caleb was someone who SLB confided in quite regularly on matters of the heart simply because conversation was generally so dull that SLB could afford to talk about himself for the entire evening and get away with it. However, SLB would rather inject his own eyeballs with vodka than spend an entire evening with Boring Caleb, so once he was done with dinner (If he'd seen one 'New York' style cabaret, he'd seen them all) he minced his way over to the marginally more metrosexual Mahiki in Mayfair for a drink with Mitzi. It was some sort of annual-summer-tropical-Island-evening-of-fun-something-or-another and Mitzi had the excited pleasure of introducing SLB to her friend Ricardo, Spanish/Italian hybrid of hotness. SLB in turn had the pleasure of introducing this newly adopted arm-candy to Guy Pelly (club promoter to the stars), Henry Conway (general gay-about-town and knitwear extraordinaire), and Peaches Geldoff (who can do no wrong in SLB's eyes) fresh from Glastonbury. SLB thought he saw Prince Harry knocking about somewhere too, but didn't have a chance to send his regards. Summer was an awfully hectic time for the Royals.

It has been said that some cultures are more aesthetically pleasing than others. SLB can vouch for that being true. Typically Latin cultures have been at the centre of these rumours. SLB can also vouch for that being true. But SLB also had a penchant for the Scandinavians, Australians, South Africans, German and anyone Eurasian. Why limit yourself? However, there would also be a special place in his heart for his own kind though. That certain breed of English public schoolboy was a type that would always win SLB over. Now though, Ricardo was pulling him into a taxi so there were more...pressing matters to attend to.

SLB hadn't had such a good night since he went to the fireworks display at Muswell Hill last November where he'd pulled a guy called Andy, snogged his face off in the bushes and taken advantage of him behind the Crazy Mouse roller coaster. Extraordinary. Tonight, he'd down about twenty vodkas, been to Fiji and back and just about conga-ed his way into a coma.

SLB woke up feeling like Michael Jackson the next morning though. But it was worth it. Beside him was the shining face of Ricardo, morning glory in tow. Italian stallions. Hot.